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New beginnings

Every year, when summer slows down & the nights begin to gradually grow ever so dark and cold I get restless. It’s the beginning of Autumn, the end of Summer. People who love the heat & light try to grab it, hold it, keep it here just a little bit longer. But I love Autumn, the dark, cold nights, the rain and changing leaves, heavy boots and big warm sweaters. I am ready let go of summer almost before it has even truly begun, and I get restless.

To others it is the New Year, the first day of January that marks the beginning of a new era, but for me it has always been August/September. Sure, it’s the beginning of a new school year, but even during the years when I haven’t been a student and my day to day life hasn’t changed drastically from summer to fall, I have felt the itch of a New Beginning. This year has proven to be no different.

Last year was one of the hardest years of my life, and all that dark made it almost impossible to focus on anything except the day to day, to keep going even when going got tough. I stopped doing most things I love. I rarely picked up my camera, I abandoned my old blog, I read very few books and I spent most of my time inside, by myself. But things are looking up, grief is like a wave, it comes and goes but as time goes on, the waves slow down, the bad isn’t as bad anymore.

I’m ready to start doing the things I love again. New semester is beginning, and I’m excited. It will be my last year doing my undergrad. I’ve picked up my camera again, if just to take silly pictures of my self & stuff around my apartment. I’ve begun to jog and exercise, I’m trying new recipes, I’ve shared adventures with friends, I’ve read something every day, I’ve felt less tired & more happy, I feel anew. And I’m ready to start blogging again. A clean slate. Autumn’s here.

-Satu

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